41: The Burning Question – Pt. 2

This isn’t right, this can’t be happening right now, Victoria thought as she stood in the waiting room listening to the Doctor tell her they were doing their best to stabilize Mike. She couldn’t understand what he was saying, as if all of a sudden the doctor spoke a different language and none of this was real. There was no way she was standing in front of this man listening to him tell her that her partner may not pull through or that he may not be able to continue in his line of work. 

“The bullet entered through his left shoulder just above the left scapula. Upon arrival he had a weak pulse and there was evidence of a massive right side hemothorax but the direct trajectory of the bullet is still unknown. The bullet lodged into the inferior epidural spinal canal without destruction of the vertebral bone, an intra-canalicular bullet nucleus was found at the mid-spinal cord at the T8 level, with no evidence of vertebral bone destruction. The entrance wound caused by the traversing projectile was located at the level of the seventh rib at the left posterior axillary line. Preliminary neurological examination identified lower limb paraplegia.”

Lower limb paraplegia, Victoria’s eyes shot up towards the doctor’s as she listened to him relay Mike’s condition to her and the rest of the department blues who had come down as support. “What did you say? What does any of that mean exactly?”

The doctor gave her a terse look as he repeated himself. “Your partner was shot in the shoulder and the bullet traveled through his body, bouncing off his ribs and puncturing a lung which caused heavy bleeding in the chest before it finally came to rest in the spinal region, damaging it enough to cause paralysis below the waist.”

“No, no, no, no that’s not right. You need to check again.”

“As I said it was a preliminary exam but I wouldn’t get my hopes up that subsequent checks won’t result in the same news.”

“Oh God not this. This isn’t right. You don’t understand. Being a cop is the only thing Mike knows how to do. You can’t just throw this kind of news into our lap and expect it to be final. There has to be something you can do.”

“We are still working on cleaning up the internal damage the bullet caused and will run new tests once that’s done but…”

“Can we see him?” she asked, biting her lower lip as she tried to keep herself composed.

“Well he is still in surgery right now and unconscious but once we have him stabilized and moved to a room of course. We won’t know the full extent of his injuries until he awakens which won’t be for a while.”

“Carson,” Mason pulled her arm as he noticed her expression change from desperation to anger. “Mike needs you by his side right now. Whatever you’re thinking won’t help him.”

“Mike is in surgery right now, he doesn’t need me. And what I’m thinking is I need answers and there’s only one place to get them,” she replied and jerked her arm out of his grip.

“Victoria, no! I won’t have you going off half-cocked and winding up in a bed beside your partner. You are too emotional right now.”

“Too emotional? You see this, Captain?” Victoria asked, pulling at her shirt. “This is Mike’s blood! You’re damn right I’m emotional! That informant back at the station walked us right into a trap. He knows more and I’m willing to bet if I go at him hard enough, Tommy Calabrese’s name will roll right off his tongue.” Victoria nearly yelled as she stormed out of the hospital.

Quickly hopping behind the wheel of her jeep, she sped towards the station running every red light and stop sign along the way. Her feet didn’t touch the ground until she was standing at the door to the holding cells staring at two officers cutting their suspect down from the rafters. “What happened?”

“He offed himself shortly after dinner came around.”

“Did he say anything? Is there a note of some kind?”

“Nope. Bastard just hooked the noose on the ceiling and jumped.”

“Well where the hell did he get the rope?” Victoria shouted at the officers’ indifferent attitudes towards the dead man swinging beside them. She turned quickly and stopped at the front desk to check the visitation log. One name popped out at her, Angelo Lombardo, and she slammed her fist down on the book with a growl. 

“Who the hell is working the desk right now?”

“I am,” Officer Jimmy Mills replied and stepped back behind the counter with a fresh cup of coffee in his hands.

“How many of those have you had tonight?” she asked, sniffing a bit of vodka on his breath as he spoke.

“One or two but not enough to impair my job,” he responded with a snarl.

“Impair your job? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea whats going on back there?” she asked, motioning towards the security door that separated the lobby from the holding cells.

“Yeah, some whacked out scumbag decided he didn’t care much to see the inside of the slammer and removed himself from our cold case files. It’ll be a helluva lot of paperwork but that asshole did us all a favor.”

“What is this some sort of a fucking joke? Do you have any idea how this will play out for the department and the Captain when word gets out?”

“And lemme guess, you’re gonna be a bitch and nark! Why the hell do you care so much?”

“Why do I care that you may have let the man who shot my partner off with another free ride? Why do I care that you’ve made this department a laughing stock? Why do I care that someone’s dead because you’re drinking on the job? Are you seriously asking me that?”

“You really think I’m the only cop that drinks on the job?”

“No but you’re the only one dumb enough to get caught! Your incompetence cost us the life of a witness you dumbshit! That asshole hanging by his neck in there sold me and my partner out and got him laid up in the hospital while you’re in here sitting on your ass getting drunk and letting accused murderers in to visit the inmates? You’ll be lucky to get off of a conspiracy to commit or accomplice after-the-fact.”

“Look Lady, I’m in the middle of a rocky divorce and custody battle with my cheating ex-wife and her new gym body boyfriend. On top of that the note is expiring on my 2^nd mortgage and I got a kid in braces due for another set. I have enough on my plate already and I don’t need to deal with your PMS on top of it!”

“You know something? You’re right,” Victoria replied and reached across the desk. Instantly her fist snapped across his jaw, knocking him on his ass and she was over the desk on top of him quickly hammering away at him before another officer came to break it up. “Officer Brown, give this shithead a breathalyzer and sit his ass in the drunk tank now!”

Victoria got back to the hospital and paced the hallways as she waited on news of her partner. A few of her brothers in blue milled about near the vending machines while others flirted with the staff behind the nurses’ station. Moments of the shootout replayed in her mind as and she brought her hands to her head to try and shake the images free but nothing helped. Seeing Mike lying in a pool of his blood, desperate and in pain would haunt her.

“Hey,” Captain Mason brushed Victoria’s shoulder lightly to get her attention. “You don’t want to go home and change? There’s no telling how much longer this will take and you probably don’t want to see Mike wearing that,” he replied glancing down at the stained top she wore.

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, yeah that’s…that’s not a bad idea,” she stammered and dazedly turned for the door.

“He’s awake,” the doctor announced to Captain Mason and Victoria quickly rushed over to hear the news. “We did everything we could to heal the damage done to his spine but…”

“No.”

“I’m sorry. We were unable to repair the wound.” A loud ringing sound buzzed into Victoria’s ears and the droning grew louder and louder with every word the doctor spoke until she felt completely deaf. Her eyes closed in sadness and she muffled a tear as the Captain thanked the doctor and turned to look at her. 

“Carson? Carson? Victoria!” he yelled and she suddenly zoned back in at the sound of his voice.

“This isn’t real is it? Cappy, tell me this is all some bad dream. Please this can’t be real. Please. Please tell me I’m dreaming and just wake me up,” she cried, crumbling in his arms as he held her up.

“Mike needs you right now, Victoria. Pull it together.”

“How? How do you expect me to do that when my partner is lying up…broken! Do you have any idea what this will do to him?” She wiped away the tears as quickly as they fell and the other officers in the hall all watched as she slowly started to lose it.

“Carson!” Captain Mason yelled once more and waited until he again had her attention. “Mike’s awake. Go see him!”

She nodded her head and started down the hallway towards his room. A nurse had just finished checking his vitals and solemnly looked up at her before excusing herself and shutting the door. “There she is; the girl with the perfect aim,” he smiled woozily and watched Victoria amble towards him. “How’s your trigger finger partner?”

“It’s great. It feels good,” she replied and slowly pulled a chair closer to his bedside. “How about you? How do you…feel?” she asked, swallowing hard as she thought about his legs.

“Numb,” he responded and looked over at her. That was expected. He had no sensation below the waist. Stupid question Victoria. “No I mean really numb,” Mike sighed anxiously. “I don’t know what they gave me but I can’t feel half of my body.”

“What do you mean what they gave you?”

“Anesthesia, during the surgery. Whatever it is, it’s pretty damn strong. I had sort of this loopy feeling when I awoke, I see why people love morphine,” he laughed. “And now I’m just numb. They won’t tell me how the damn thing went but I’m feeling pretty good considering. I’m sure it could have been a lot worse.”

“You mean they haven’t told you anything about your condition?”

“No,” he shook his head emphatically. “They keep saying they’re ‘waiting on family.’ I told them you were here and you are my family so they could tell you. I ask the nurses that keep parading in and out of here and all they tell me is ‘the doctor will be right in.’ Guess they’re flying him from Timbuktu because he still hasn’t made it into my room.”

“Mike,” Victoria started, placing her hand on top of his until his eyes turned towards her. “Mike…” she chewed her bottom lip as she searched his face. The calm expression he had would soon change once he knew the truth and she wanted to keep him there for as long as she could. But he needed to know; he had to know it all. “Mike,” her voice cracked as tears pooled at the bottoms of her eyes.

“What is it, Victoria?” She lost it hearing him speak her full name, something he hadn’t done in quite some time and his hand brushed across her cheek as he tried pulling her closer towards his chest. “Tell me for Christ’s sakes you’re starting to worry me.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against his body and lifted her head to look at him. “The bullet, the bullet ruptured your lower spine. Y-y-you’re paralyzed from the waist down.” Mike stared at her in disbelief. Quietly he tried to process what she was saying as his partner continued crying beside him. 

“P-paralyzed?” Victoria nodded her head as Mike’s grip loosened on her arm before falling to the bed. “I can’t…my legs? I’ll never…permanently?” Again Victoria nodded her head and Mike’s expression fell as did his head against his pillow.

Bringing his hand to his face, he started crying as well no longer able to contain his emotions. “I’m sorry, Mike.”

“How the fuck could this happen to me?” he mumbled behind his hands, swatting at the tears that loosely fell from his eyes.

“I don’t know, Mike.”

“It wasn’t supposed to go down like that! This wasn’t supposed to fucking happen!”

“I know Mike, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Victoria continued repeating as Mike’s tears wet his face and she let the railing down on her side and crawled into the bed with him. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the pain, as her head rested against his shoulder. She wiped at his face as he sat up and he hugged her against him, trembling still as more tears fell. 

“No wonder those bastards wouldn’t say anything,” he muttered as he pulled away from her arms. “It’s shitty being the one to deliver bad news.” He sniffled and Victoria shook her head as she held his hand in hers. “Thank you for being here. Thank you, Vik.”

“I should have been there sooner. I should have…”

“No! No, don’t do that. You did everything I would have. You secured the bystander and you had my back; I couldn’t ask for more.” He fell back again onto the bed and Victoria sat beside him for a moment longer. “You should go.”

“No. I’m ok. I don’t have anywhere else I want to be.”

“I want to be alone right now, Vik. Please. Just leave,” he whispered and brought his hands up to cover his face once more. He felt the bed dip as she slid off the side and took in a deep breath, trying to keep himself composed.

Silently she stood and looked down at him as he shut his eyes again. “If you need anything?” Mike shook his head and waited until he heard the sound of the door shut before a fresh set of tears fell.

“Victoria?” Cole answered his door in surprise, staring at the down trodden face of his ex. “Oh my god Vik, you’re bleeding!” he replied and pulled at her arms, checking her for injuries.

“No, it’s not mine, it’s Mike’s.”

“What? Mike? Come in,” he stepped away and watched her step inside. The moment his door closed she threw herself against him and he held her tightly as he felt her shudder with sobs. “What’s the matter? Victoria are you ok? Are you hurt? What happened?”

She nodded her head and slowly drew in a breath as she tried to collect herself. “It-it-it’s Mike,” she whimpered and he pressed her harder against him as he guided her towards the couch. With his arms wrapped around her, Victoria explained the events of the evening up until she ended up at his front door.

At separate intervals during her story he would reach over to wipe away new tears and comforted her as best he could. “Vik I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’ve been so distracted lately that something like this was bound to happen.”

“No Vik, you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“Why not? I’m his partner! It’s my job to watch his six for anything and be prepared for everything but I failed him Cole. I was too busy consoling a civilian and dropped my guard enough to let him get shot. He’s in that hospital bed because of me! He’ll never walk again because of me!”

“No Vik, no. Baby, that’s…that’s just not true,” he replied again and held her against him as she began sobbing once more.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Victoria quietly confessed as she sat pressed against Cole’s chest. “I can’t pretend as if I’m ok with all this death and destruction. And as a cop my hands are tied. I can’t do anything to help those I love. I have to sit idle and watch as men who I know are evil wreak havoc on the lives of innocent people. It’s too much Cole. It’s just too much and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“Victoria what are you saying?”

“Isn’t that the burning question?” she laughed manically. “I don’t know. I guess what I’m saying is I’m done. To hell with this job and letting these people get away with murder. It’s time I took the law into my own hands and did something, really did something.”

“Jesus Vik, what the hell does that mean? You can’t quit the force!”

“And why not?”

“And do what, Victoria? Become a vigilante? What are you going to do? Zap people with your magic wand?” Cole asked sarcastically and gently rubbed her hand between his.

“I don’t know but I have to do something. And I know just the place to start.”

Continue---->